[Dovecot] Dovecot stones

Patrick Domack patrickdk at patrickdk.com
Sun Apr 1 17:22:30 EEST 2012


Quoting Timo Sirainen <tss at iki.fi>:

> For the last few days I've been thinking about my company and what  
> it really should do, and as much as the current plan seems  
> reasonable, I think in good conscience I really can't help but to  
> bring up an alternative plan:
>
> The support for Dovecot is quite good already, but wouldn't it be  
> better if it was GUARANTEED that your email server was ALWAYS  
> working with zero downtime or other problems?  After some thinking,  
> planning and consulting with my spiritual guides I realized I really  
> should just go ahead and do it:
>
> From now on you can buy blessed Dovecot stones  
> (http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone1.jpg), which are guaranteed to  
> keep your email server running.  I don't think there's really any  
> further reason for me to provide commercial support.  Probably the  
> whole Dovecot mailing list will be pretty much useless after this as  
> well, so I might as well stop posting there.  If you have any  
> problems, you'll just buy a Dovecot stone and the problem will go  
> away.  If for any reason that doesn't work, it means that your  
> problem is more difficult than most and you need to buy a few more  
> stones.  Please remember that each shipment may take up to 3 weeks  
> to reach you, so get your stones early and in sufficient quantities.
>
> A small email server will be happy enough with a single small  
> Dovecot stone, but the more users you have the more stones you'll  
> likely need.  This is because most people are rather unhappy with  
> their lives, and they project their negative energies towards their  
> surroundings, including their email servers.  To overcome this  
> negative energy you need to have a counterbalancing positive energy,  
> which the Dovecot stones will provide you.
>
> The Dovecot stones are hand painted from the finest materials  
> available to the sister of the author of Dovecot that she could find  
> in the local shops. Each stone contains such love and dedication  
> towards the well being of Dovecot that you will shed tears when you  
> lay your eyes upon their physical being.  The images provided here  
> unfortunately don't do justice to them.
>
> http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone2.jpg - This is how i keep my home  
> desktop running all day every day.  I have NEVER broken a single  
> hard drive in my life.  I don't even bother to keep backups, because  
> I KNOW it is useless for me.
>
> A small Dovecot stone can be bought for 10 euros, a medium sized  
> stone for 100 euros and a large stone for 500 euros.  Each large  
> stone can usually handle around 1000-2000 users before you need to  
> buy more.  If you have millions of users we'll need to find you a  
> larger rock from my parents' backyard.  There are only a limited  
> number of such rocks available (we disposed of most of them to our  
> neighbors' yards years ago), so their prices need to be negotiated  
> in advance.

I'm unable to locate the order page.
Or should I reply to the maillist with my creditcard info?





More information about the dovecot mailing list